Fear Is The Heart Of Love

He. That's the guy I was afraid to trust and didn't know if I even should trust him. He has reached into me and grabbed a big part of me, hopefully he knows how to use it. Death Cab for Cutie spoke to me the other day. They said a nun told them, "Fear is the heart of love" I have no idea what that means. Does it mean that because we fear, we love? Or is it more inclined towards love causes us to fear? I don't understand it very much, but apparently fear and love go hand in hand and I agree completely. We're sometimes afraid to love because we have scars from the times before. Many times we don't even experience it, but we see others dealing with the bad side of love. I hear about girls that get abused by their partners and they just can't leave them. That could be because of fear or love. There's always a connection. Because of everything that can go wrong I stayed on the other side of the glass. Now I'm on the side where everything could go wrong.

He. He spoke to me for a long time and surprisingly it was unbelievably easy to express myself. We've got something going where neither of us is guarded. It seems to be working. We've confessed many things to each other without it being too hard. There's something special about everything we share. I've always kept walls up because of fear. Fear of love, obviously. I no longer have those walls up, yet there's still some fear in the back of my mind. Everything right now is sooooo right, that if something goes wrong I don't know what I'll do. And that's another fear in itself.

He. He's so far away but yet so close. When we talk it's like he's here. Distance isn't such a bad thing because it makes us wanna grow closer. I feel like I've known him forever. We spent a school year together that in my mind was like a few days. I can't remember everything, but I remember the important things. After that year, we never spoke again but he was always on my mind. He said he had to get in touch with me again. It was because of Karma that he learned. Don't we all learn that way? A few hours of talking and it's like everything is perfectly fine. That's something to fear, but I don't because relationships are about taking chances. You may lose it all or win it all, but there's never a guarantee which is what makes it magical.

He. He is the only one that has the power to turn my heart into a puzzle and lose the pieces. That's what I'm afraid of, but these chances I'll take for him...