Waking Up on the WIERD Side Of The Bed!!!

It is 10:58 am on Monday morning and I would never wake up and go straight to the computer, but seeing as I don't feel like writing and I need to get my feelings out immediately, I got on Blogger.

Every weekday morning I go to work with my mom, especially since she's Preggo and she can't do alot of things. Today, she didn't wake me up, so when I got out of bed, I looked around the house for her and I only found my little brother eating cereal. Worried, I called my mother to see where she was, since the car wasn't in the carport. She answered and said that she was working. That pissed me off!!!!!!!!!! I don't usuallly say that, but it really did. Right now, I'm frustrated! And the only reason she did that is because we had an argument last night, in which I totally freaked! Now that I think about it, I should've listened to my dad, when he told me to have patience with her.

What happened was that I was on the computer and she tells me that she needed to use it. It annoys the crap out of me, when she only needs to use it when I'm on it. So, I told her that and she got rude. I don't handle rude, very well. She started yelling about how I looked like crap and that I could be doing something useful like looking better than I did. We've already established the issues I have that involve self confidence. I was sooo mad, but I didn't want to say anything at all. So my first grade instinct was to throw a newspaper that was beside the computer. Then she asked me to pick it up, so I did [unhappily]. I started yelling about how I hated her attitude and she could atleast try to get better at something. As I got out of the room, I slammed her door shut! And I slammed my door shut! I got in one of those moods that if you don't do something quick, you're gonna do something really bad like...break the window! I listened to my mp3 player full blast and started shouting lyrics. It actually relieved me. It's amazing the things you can do if you let your voice go wild to "Slow Down" by The Academy Is...

Today, I don't know if I should apologize when I wouldn't have acted the way I did, if she hadn't been sooo damn evil! Keep in mind that this is coming from the girl who doesn't flip out easily. Looks like things are changing and I am DEMANDING my respect whether others like it or not. I'll try to keep it to a minimum, but I'm starting to see the Taurus in me.

P.S. It sucks cus my mom has this house today where there's a cute guy there, and I just like talking to him. Maybe God is punishing me, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, LORD!!! I'll just write a song about it. It'll be called Monday Morning or something like that.

Dreams Are Real...I Think?

This was me a few days before I got a very important call. Me and Rachal got spur of the moment haircuts that same day and it was 100% unplanned. We showed up at the same hair salon at the same time! It was so wierd! I'm like, "Hey, is that my homie getting off that Van?" And she's like, "Hey, homie is that you at 8:15am." Okay, so it didn't happen that way, but it was similar...not really. But the point was the wierdness of showing up at the same place at the same time.

Later that day we went to the mall, so that I could see if I had finally learned self control with money in my pocket and items to buy all around me. I passed...I think? I only bought two pairs of aviators, one for Rachal and one for me. She chose Stuntah Shades! And I chose Classy Shades! Which we are modeling in this wonderful picture. And a pair of flowery flats.

After the mall, we went to my mom's friends house. And I'm pretty sure, Rachal felt very uncomfortable. It's hard being in a room with loud Spanish people and not understanding what they're screaming about or what's so exciting.

After the mall, I was insanely hungry so we decided to go to Chile Verde! One of the awesomest places to eat Mexican Cuisine in Monroe. We met our cute waiter, Mr. Mario Lopez. Alright, I wished it was him, but we got a less cuter guy than him, whose name was Mario. He was so surprised when I burst out speaking to him in Spanish. We started talking about how he's from Puerto Rico and one of his parents is from Honduras. Which is where I'm from! He turned out to do all the talking and flirting with me and then before I left he said, "Eh, Tu amiga esta bien hermosa no? Habla le de mi." What was I supposed to do, that's SOOOO wrong. You don't a)chat up a girl who's enjoying the attention and b)say that you think her friend is beautiful. And this is why, girls are going the other way. lol. Whatever, I love knowing that I'm always gonna be two years ahead of a guy, mentally. It's empowering!!!

Where I was heading with this blog has nothing to do with anything I just wrote. LOL! But I didn't want to do seperate blogs about all this. A few days after that, I was on Facebook, and I ran across an Ad for modeling and acting with the Michael Turney Agency(MTA). I looked them up and wasted no time in sending in my basic info. Ever since I was 12, I've been auditioning in anything that involves acting and modeling. In fact, I think I was scammed once. I never got some pics back from some guy. Let's not talk about that, cus it makes me depressed to think about. I've auditioned for Pro-Scout like 4-5 times, and always failed. I auditioned at John Robert Powers in Birmingham, and I had finally made it, but I had to move away.

Now, I am here again trying for a dream that could or couldn't come true. I drove an hour away to audition for MTA, 2 days ago, and it was pouring down rain. I really didn't care about the rain, in fact it motivated me. I got to the office with my hair half messed up after the rain had it's say. Michael made us walk a T-shaped Runway. I was the first one there so they made me go first. I was a little bit nervous, but since I've done this a million times, even at night with my head on the pillow. I felt good, my head was high up and I strutted down that runway. I must have done well. If I had seen that money sign in Michael's eyes. Then we had to do a cold read for a short commercial. I was definitely confident there too. I even heard some ladies going, "She's really good" And even Michael said, "Very Good!" My mom wasn't too happy until she saw me up there shining like that. In fact, it was the first time that I felt that she was on board of something so important to me, that didn't involve education. Well, that sounds mean, but I mean as in that all her dreams for me are to become a successful doctor and they stop there.

That night during the audition, Michael had told us all that if we didn't get a call back, then we didn't make it. I got a call the next day, I think around 11am. Lisa, an agent, told me that they wanted to make an appointment to see me again. So I made it!!I was running around the house like crazy! My mom wasn't so enthused, but she was pretty glad that I had made it. I learned that whether we sign a contract or not, I can't let people decide things for me. It's all up to me, what I want to do. If people are influencing you at something you don't want to do, why not stand up and say, "Hey, this is me, not you. You worry about you, I worry about me." I can't wait for the appointment!!! I am slowly discovering that I have free will, of course I've got to wait till I'm out of this house to experience my free will, but this feels like a good start. Why not try saying, "Hey, I don't want a Spinach salad mom! I want a lettuce salad!" or "I will not clean my room now! I'll do it when you pull out the threats!" If I did that I would no longer be able to write anymore posts soooo, maybe I shouldn't try that.

Well, Jenessy out! Peace, Love, and JESUS!