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I don't want to be melodramatic again about this other guy. We have established my facination with the male species so I should not be judged twice but rather once, since we already know what I am...boy crazy! While I have a constant need to dig through every guy I like or am fascinated by, I've learned that I learn from these guys.
I promise there is a lesson learned from the dousche bags to the sweet hearts. Case 1: Adam(The ex)-In that case I was a jerk for cheating on him in the name of revenge because he neglected me the first time that we went out. I learned that karma will one day bite you in the narts! Case 2: Jacob(The ex-ex)-Don't ever date someone because you think that you will learn to like that person as much as they like you. The fact that they like you so much might mean that they have ingrown stalker tendencies and no one needs to be in a relationship in which the other is calling every two minutes. It will shortly turn from flattery to obsession and no one wants that, now do they. See. I learned something better.
The last important case in which I've learned something is Case 3:Unmentionable(The-not-boyfriend-but-somewhat-feels-like-it-but-its-just-complicated)-I have learned tons of great things from him. Its because of him that I'm starting to have a view and opinion on many things like religion. Its also because of him that I'm learning how to train myself to not go insane when a guy doesn't want what you want. How did I learn this? He drives me insane so I've taught myself how to refrain from having anxiety attacks. Just take a breather and worry less because in most cases guys Don't care as much as girls do. In order to have piece of mind I have to impersonate a guy...and it works for me.
These are a few of the things that I've learned by being a male obsessed obsessee. It doesn't stop here because the world is my oyster and this oyster has many pearls and some are shiny. And the shiny ones grab my attention!

ICU

For my mom, it's called ICU. I love her sooo much. She's made it through sooo much and I know she'll make it through this.


I’m staring at this preciousness you gave
I can’t help but think one day this could be permanent
And I don’t ever wish to feel this way
You’re not here, but you will be okay

I was driving these streets with tears in my eyes
And the drivers passing by only saw me cry
They couldn’t tell what was sitting inside me
It was all the things I hope for you and me

In the ICU, I saw you with tear stains on your face
Struggling to say a few words not staying in place
You wrote out how you felt
And asked questions I didn’t know the answers to
If you were to ask again
Every answer is I love you

Everyone keeps saying that I’m so strong
But when no one’s here it feels all wrong
And the hurt inside my throat
Is now something normal
And I’ll hide behind these claims
So no one sees me that way
But I’m the first to break down
When no one is around

In the ICU, I saw you with tear stains on your face
Struggling to say a few words and I kept in place
You wrote out how you felt
And asked questions I didn’t know the answers to
If you were to ask again
Every answer is I love you

Every answer is I love you
You are my only way
I will never leave you
If you want me to stay

Every answer is I love you
You are my only way
I will never leave you
If you want me to stay

In the darkness I called out
I called out your name
Hoping you could hear me
And maybe you would do the same